- A study revealed that early social rejection can lead to narcissism in adults
- Psychotherapist Brianna Paruolo said it’s a combination of multiple events
- By providing support, parents can raise well-adjusted children
If you’ve ever encountered a narcissist before, you might have wondered, ‘What made them this way?’
Thankfully, psychotherapist Brianna Paruolo spoke to DailyMail.com exclusively about what actually causes narcissism… and according to the expert, it starts in childhood.
A recent study in the Journal of Personality showed that social rejection in early childhood can lead to narcissistic personality traits.
The study explained that this early exposure to ostracism evokes feelings of loneliness, which in turn can become narcissism along with other ‘dark traits.’
But Paruolo explained that social rejection alone can’t be pinpointed as a catalyst for narcissism.
‘While rejection might contribute to narcissism in some kids, many others face rejection and turn out just fine,’ Paruolo said.
So what makes the difference between a child becoming narcissistic and a child growing up to be a perfectly well-adjusted adult?
Paruolo said it has a lot to do with the support system that this child has.
Psychotherapist Brianna Paruolo spoke to DailyMail.com exclusively about what actually causes narcissism… and according to the expert, it starts in childhood
‘Children who have at least one caring adult who helps them understand that rejection isn’t about their worth tend to bounce back well,’ she explained.
‘Kids without this support might develop protective shields like narcissism.’
She emphasized that how adults respond to a child’s upset feelings make a big difference.
The important thing to remember is that narcissism isn’t just born out of one triggering event – it’s usually a combination of a few things.
And a lot of it does have to do with a child’s relationship with their parents, as Paruolo claimed that unpredictable parenting seems to be a major factor in children who grow up to be narcissistic adults.
‘This happens when parents swing between treating a child like they’re perfect and special one minute, then being cold or critical the next,’ Paruolo said.
According to Paruolo, what happens is the child learns to cling to the feeling of being special to avoid feeling worthless.
And because they cling so hard to this, it ends up being a dominating personality characteristic.
Paruolo said a child who often acts entitled or can’t handle criticism could be showing early signs of narcissism (stock image)
You can typically tell when a child is showing narcissistic tendencies.
Paruolo explained that if your child acts entitled a lot, shows little concern for other people’s feelings, or can’t seem to handle criticism, they might be showing early signs of narcissism.
Other indicators include them getting unreasonably aggressive when they’re disappointed, being perfectionists that are extremely fragile when they fail, and of course, not being able to admit their own mistakes.
But noticing these signs doesn’t mean your child is destined to become a narcissistic adult.
Paruolo explained that there are actions that parents can take to make sure they’re helping their children work through their emotions.
‘Validate feelings without making rejection seem like the end of the world,’ Paruolo advised.
She added that it’s important to show a child how to handle disappointment in a healthy way.
She suggested parents teach their kids that their self worth isn’t based on being popular – and providing them with unconditional love is a good place to start.
Parents can never have total control on how their children turn out in adulthood, but they do have the opportunity to set their child up for emotional and social success.
And by making sure you’re not feeding into unhealthy emotional patterns, you can avoid putting another narcissistic person out into the world.
