Gift-Giving Etiquette: A Brief Guide

The holidays are a time for goodwill and expressing appreciation for others, but there is always the chance of an awkward moment when you receive a gift from or give a gift to someone you don’t know that well. Even gift-giving among close friends and family can be awkward at times. To avoid embarrassing moments, read our brief guide to holiday gift-giving.

Should a Gift Given in Exchange Be of Equal Value?

When giving gifts, you should aim to spend an amount that you are comfortable with, not what you assume your recipient is spending.

Some people feel compelled to give a gift equal in value to the gift they receive. However, this isn’t necessary. The value can be difficult to assess, and most people are not concerned with the monetary value of a gift. The thought that goes along with the gift is typically more meaningful.

In addition, spending excessive amounts on a gift may make the receiver feel uncomfortable. Depending on your relationship with the recipient, you may feel inclined to explain that you got a good deal on their gift (perhaps you got a gift card at a discount) to ease their concern.

Similarly, assessing the value of a gift you have received is relegating the act of giving gifts to material gain, which is not what the holidays or gift giving should be about. Instead, if you have given some thought to what type of gift the recipient would like, the price tag is irrelevant.

Gifts for All

Another common gift-giving conundrum is whether you have to give a gift to everyone within a particular group or segment of your life if you give a gift to one person within that group. For example, you may give someone you frequently have lunch with at work a gift and wonder whether you should do the same for the whole office.

A general rule is that you don’t have to give a gift to everyone in a group. But you should do so discreetly in order to not make others feel excluded. In the case of the lunch companion, give the gift when the two of you are alone rather than in front of other colleagues.

Show Appreciation

If you receive a gift, even if you don’t give one in return, always show your appreciation, regardless of whether you like the gift or not. If you are presented with the gift in person, smile and thank the gift giver. If you receive a gift by mail, call the gift giver as soon as you can to alert them that the gift has arrived. For certain events, like a wedding, it’s appropriate to send a hand-written thank you note.

Honor Your Host

When invited to someone’s home during the holidays, it is good etiquette to bring a token of appreciation in exchange for the invite. This gift should not be extravagant. A bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a candle, or flowers will suffice.

Be Culturally Aware

Not all cultures celebrate the holiday season in the same way. Make sure you understand the traditions and norms of anyone you plan to give a gift to so that you do not offend or embarrass them.

For example, it is a cultural norm in North America to publicly unwrap a gift when it is received. However, in many cultures, such as some in Asia, the proper etiquette is for the receiver to wait until they are in private to open a gift.

Workplace Giving

Giving gifts in the workplace can be awkward for many reasons. When giving corporate gifts, be aware that sending out gifts with large corporate logos can appear tacky. 

Additionally, depending upon your workplace, you may receive tax benefits from gift-giving. This can include gifts that come in the form of charitable donations. Many countries, including the U.S., allow some tax write-offs from corporate gifts.

The Bottom Line

What we give as gifts and how we receive them says a lot about us as individuals. Though awkwardness may arise, it doesn’t need to be inevitable. Bear in mind that many people give gifts to show appreciation, and a simple thank you in return is all that is required.